Ten Reasons Why the Twilight Series is
(by far)
the Most Mediocre Bull I Have Ever Had the Misfortune to Read:
1.) The mundane storyline is washed-up, and sounds like a Danielle Steel novelia gone horribly, horribly wrong.
2.) Half-ass prose is a fantastic way to make money.
3.) Let's just take the base line of Anne Rice's epic personal narrative and turn it into a poorly-written yuppie tween fantasy!
4.) How dare people compare the Twilight series to Harry Potter?! Seriously, like there is even a DEBATE over this. J.K. Rowling put her heart and soul into the story of Harry and into the books she wrote. Clearly this shows, by the composure and the intelligent design of every single story she's written. In twenty years, people will still be fans of Harry Potter, this will not be the same about Twilight- which will fade into obscurity along with every book written in such a juvenile manner.
5.) The character of Edward is appealingly an oldschool romantic, but the identity crisis does nothing for his beautiful complexion.
6.) The character of Bella is less appealing in the idea that she's whiney, and rather pathetic, in her quest to obtain this insecure blood-sucking fool.
7.) Twilight, that is, the first book, was what I would deem "good". Every book afterward was like Gigli, ridiculously blown-up, and a sorry excuse for production.
8.) Let's give prepubescent children with bad home lives something to squeal about, eh?
9.) Oh no… they've made a movie…
10.) WHAT THE HELL IS UP WITH BELLA BECOMING PREGNANT… VAMPIRES DO NOT CREATE SPERM. WHEN THEY BECOME VAMPIRES, IT IS IMPOSSIBLE FOR THEM TO REPRODUCE. THIS CHILD WITH THE FUCKED-UP NAME SHOULD NOT EXIST!
(by far)
the Most Mediocre Bull I Have Ever Had the Misfortune to Read:
1.) The mundane storyline is washed-up, and sounds like a Danielle Steel novelia gone horribly, horribly wrong.
2.) Half-ass prose is a fantastic way to make money.
3.) Let's just take the base line of Anne Rice's epic personal narrative and turn it into a poorly-written yuppie tween fantasy!
4.) How dare people compare the Twilight series to Harry Potter?! Seriously, like there is even a DEBATE over this. J.K. Rowling put her heart and soul into the story of Harry and into the books she wrote. Clearly this shows, by the composure and the intelligent design of every single story she's written. In twenty years, people will still be fans of Harry Potter, this will not be the same about Twilight- which will fade into obscurity along with every book written in such a juvenile manner.
5.) The character of Edward is appealingly an oldschool romantic, but the identity crisis does nothing for his beautiful complexion.
6.) The character of Bella is less appealing in the idea that she's whiney, and rather pathetic, in her quest to obtain this insecure blood-sucking fool.
7.) Twilight, that is, the first book, was what I would deem "good". Every book afterward was like Gigli, ridiculously blown-up, and a sorry excuse for production.
8.) Let's give prepubescent children with bad home lives something to squeal about, eh?
9.) Oh no… they've made a movie…
10.) WHAT THE HELL IS UP WITH BELLA BECOMING PREGNANT… VAMPIRES DO NOT CREATE SPERM. WHEN THEY BECOME VAMPIRES, IT IS IMPOSSIBLE FOR THEM TO REPRODUCE. THIS CHILD WITH THE FUCKED-UP NAME SHOULD NOT EXIST!
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